Some of you will recall that my April Blog, A Fresh Start, referred to a lone, bare tree, patiently awaiting a new life. Much to my surprise, the tree has bloomed…and unlike its neighbors, it is now draped in red. Different, yet…still standing tall and majestic, continuing to grow and quietly celebrate its uniqueness.
Do you embrace and celebrate your uniqueness?
Or,
Do you:
-focus on your past mistakes?
-compare yourself to others?
-focus on your weaknesses and failures?
-try to be someone you are not?
-speak negatively to yourself?
-try to be perfect at all times?
Accepting yourself – all of you – can be such a liberating feeling! Recognize that striving for perfection is unrealistic. Shifting the mindset to one of acceptance helps you to not only accept yourself, but others as well.
Here are some general principles you can implement to develop a growth mindset that will allow you to be more accepting of YOU!
- Forgive yourself - Holding on to past hurts and failures will hinder you from living in the present and planning for the future. It also creates an unhealthy cycle of negative thoughts and emotions. Accept what has been done, hold yourself accountable for any hurt you may have caused, any failures/disappointments you experienced, and recognize you cannot change the past. What you can do is forgive yourself, then, give yourself permission to move on.
- Ignore your inner critic - Break free of harsh self-judgement and impossible expectations. Instead of listening to your negative thoughts and the self-criticism, shift the focus to positive thoughts. Reframe your negative thoughts by (a) challenging them, and (b) replacing them with positive thoughts. Reflect more on what you have been able to accomplish despite any challenges you may have encountered.
- Applaud your abilities - Remind yourself of who you are – your attributes, strengths, talents, and competencies. Let this statement of who you are serve as positive self-affirmations. Make it a practice to review them on a regular basis.
- Be your authentic self - In addition to your abilities, what else defines you? What are you passionate about? What are your hopes and dreams? If you are not sure, get to know you. Tap into that part of self that you have denied or shunned – make peace with all of you.
- Practice self-compassion - Be kind to yourself – extend the same warmth and understanding to yourself that you would to others. Accept your humanness. Life will not always go the way you planned – there will be mistakes, disappointments, losses, obstacles along the way. Know this is the reality shared by us all.
- Know your limitations - Accept your flaws and failures. Your failures do not define you. Recognize them – optimize them- learn from them. See your efforts as a path to mastery.
I want to leave you with this powerful quote that hopefully will ignite a desire within you to practice self-acceptance:
“There is a magnificient, beautiful, wonderful painting in front of you! It is intricate, detailed, a painstaking labor of devotion and love! The colors are like no other, they swim and leap, they trickle and embellish! And yet you choose to fixate your eyes on the small fly which has landed on it!
Why do you do such a thing?”
~C. Joybell. C